Eating Disorders Treatment brought to you by RaderPrograms.com

I was on my way downstairs two nights ago in the middle of the night. I needed a glass of water, and yes have this bad habit of living on the edge of walking down in the dark. The next thing I know, I tripped on something causing me to fall flat on my face. We have hard wood floors so it hurt pretty bad, and it turns out that something was my roommates son’s size 14 Air Jordan’s. I wasn’t surprised as he is constantly leaving them around, and it’s not the first time I have tripped over them.

This however is the first time me tripping over them resulted in a broken nose. I woke up the next day and looked like Rocky after he fought Apollo Creed. My nose it quite swollen and bruised and rather than panicking about the injury, I started to panic because of the way I looked. I mean it took one second for me to go from pretty to pretty pathetic and I bypassed the severe throbbing in my face by concentrating on the severe throbbing to my vanity.

I began obsessing about it for the next few hours as I sat in Urgent care. How was I going to face people with this instant deformity? I began telling myself maybe it wasn’t that bad, but as I began checking my face in my compact over and over again, I knew that this was a nose gone wild.

After determining it was a slight fracture, he sent me home with a couple of pain pills and strict instructions to ice it and elevate it.

“Yes, that’s fine I said, but please what can you give me to make it go away faster…you know get rid of the bruising?? Two days would be great..thanks.”

He looked at me and said how about instructions to turn the lights on when you go downstairs and some lessons in gracefulness when you fall.

I didn’t find that amusing as I drove home. I couldn’t have felt more unattractive in my life. I felt unsexy and didn’t know how I was going to go on?

I started to panic thinking, “What if my nose is like this forever?” What if it never heals and I have a deformed face for the rest of my life”

I began telling myself that because of this I would lose everything, my job, my friends, any possible chance of ever dating again.

I then kept telling myself that I was such a klutz, such a loser, such an idiot, such a true example of everything that was wrong in this world.

I went on in my head comparing myself to all these other pretty girls I work with. Telling myself that they would have never done this. They were too responsible and probably never got scolded at work for anything.

I then decided because of this, I would quite my job and become a recluse for the rest of my life. Nobody would ever have to see me again because of this.

Everyone hates me I thought as I went upstairs and crawled in bed. I never do anything right.

What might have sounded like a pity party is right, but after thinking about it a bit, I realized what I was mostly doing was some pretty severe Cognitive Distortions.

Besides the fact that all this had caused my issues with my looks being the only thing that mattered to me in life surface (something I have struggled with greatly) , it also made some pretty unhealthy thoughts pop up.

Yes, my nose wasn’t the only thing that was crooked, so were my thinking patterns. See when a person experiences an unhelpful emotion (i.e. depression or anxiety) it is usually preceded by a number of unhelpful self-statements and thoughts. This honestly is just an automatic habit for a majority of people. If a person uses them enough it can cause an awful lot of emotional stress.

People who suffer from eating disorders especially are known for using these styles which include Mental filtering, Jumping to Conclusions, Catastrophising, and black-and-white thinking just to name a few.

Like I said a lot of people probably do one or more of these maybe on a daily basis without even really giving it a second thoughts, but when these patterns give birth and start sprouting offspring a person can feel emotionally helpless and tortured.

In my next blog I ‘ll explain just what these styles are, and how you can turn an unhealthy thought around and make it a healthy one. Does it work?

Let’s just say I have my make-up on today despite my swollen nose, a cute pair of heels, and am back at work with a smile on my face.

Eating Disorders Treatment brought to you by RaderPrograms.com

I remember my alarm clock going off at 3 in the morning. I would get the sickest feeling in my stomach as I knew as tired as I felt I had to get up. The coldness from the winter air would hit my skin. I would stumble around in the dark looking for the light, and when I turned it on it blinded my eyes. I felt nauseous for I hadn’t eaten anything since the day before, and that consisted of an apple and a half a sandwich. I slowly put my running gear on and as I was lacing up my shoes recall secretly being jealous of my sisters who were upstairs in their beds sound asleep. Nobody knew my secret. Nobody had a clue I got up before the crack of dawn to run. I stumbled to find my backpack were I pulled out a Diet Coke I had bought from the vending machine the day before at school. It burned in my stomach not mixing well with the acid that was my breakfast. I put on my coat and gloves and knew that behind the front door was Ice cold weather, snow, and darkness. A small part of me always tried to talk myself into not having to go for a 6 mile run, but I just had this severe compulsion to do so. I kept telling myself “this is insane”, yet all I could think of was having to burn calories, and if I didn’t how fat I would feel for the rest of the day. It was as if this force had taken over me and I was compelled by some kind of crazy entity to go running in below zero weather. I had tears in my eyes as I opened that door. The rush of cold air that hit me was like a dagger, yet I lifted that one foot and it all began.

It’s sad for me to look back at that time, because I myself was pretty confused as to why I was one day a normal high school girl with happiness in her heart, whose obsessions were not about the size of my thighs, the image in the mirror, the size of my jeans, or how many calories I was digesting, not digesting, or running off. I have been exposed around exercise and fitness my whole entire life. As a matter of fact growing up I spent most of my time in a Health Club. While most of my friends mothers were attending PTA meetings or being Girl Scout Leaders, my mother was running around in shiny metallic tights and purple leotards. I thought it was normal that I was only 12 years old and running 5ks every weekend. I thought is was normal that I knew all the moves to every Jane Fonda video. I was getting physical with it long before Olivia Newton John and was taught to believe that if you didn’t exercise you were fat and lazy.

It wasn’t until I started to feel really bad about my body my junior year that I actually took any sort of diet or exercise seriously. My mother basically was telling me I should be on a diet my whole life. Instead of listening to her I rebelled and ate whatever I wanted behind her back. My freshman and sophomore year I was far more obsessed with boys, designer jeans, nail polish, and Depeche mode than I was over any salad or StairMaster. It wasn’t until the end of my junior year that I began to feel really bad about my body. My mom put me on a scale and bullied and harassed me for the number being 15 pounds higher than her weight. I got scared when my jeans started to feel tight and I began to loathe my body. I would start to stare at myself in the mirror constantly beating myself up on the outside, pinching my flesh, reading fashion magazines, reading fitness magazines, driving myself literally insane. I finally decided I was going to do something and it was that self hate that lit the match to the fire that became my desire to be the thinnest girl in the world.

It started out innocently enough, like I said I had grown up in a Health Club, so access to any kind of equipment was within hands reach. I knew enough from  my Mother and reading every diet and fitness magazine on the planet at that time how to lose weight. I simply cut back on my calories, not drastically but enough to make a difference. I also started working out, not crazy but enough to make a impact. In a few month people started to comment on my weight. They started to tell me how great  I looked. I began to feel so psyched, like I was finally in control of my body. I started to cut back a little bit more on my calories and exercise a little bit more. The weight began to come off faster and peoples compliments were flowing like Niagra Falls. Wow…how could I lose this feeling? I would lose it I thought to myself if I didn’t exercise and cut back on my calories more.

Here is what I call that fork in the road, that one decision or choice we all face in life.. to go one way or the other. Where one wrong turn can lead you down a path of misery, destruction, and self annihilation.  I often ponder on what made me choose to go so far down the wrong one. I had the choice to stay healthy and happy. As a matter of fact there was one day where I looked in the mirror and actually liked myself. I wasn’t too fat. I wasn’t too thin. I was just right.

That was the last day I remember ever feeling at peace with my body. From that day forward I chose to enter the Matrix that was my Eating Disorder. The exercising became more, the food became less, and my soul became empty. You see it really did start out quite innocently. A simple diet, some simple exercises snowballed into a fury of madness.

A lot of people don’t understand how people can exercise for hours and hours, run in below zero weather, have 3 gym memberships, and live off of nothing, but I sure do. Compulsive exercising is a severe symptom of an Eating Disorder. In my next blog I will explain it to you a little bit more. What makes a person crack. I will also tell you how it is possible to break free. ..Stay Tuned!

Eating Disorders Treatment brought to you by RaderPrograms.com

I highly doubt Michael Kors would sell as many jeans if he called them “Obese denim” or “Fat Fit”. I really don’t think Bethany Frankel would be a multi-millionaire if she had named her franchise “Junk in the Trunk Margaritas. ” And well nobody would feel that good about themselves if they were eating an ice-cream bar named “Big Fat Lazy Cow Confections.”

Yet these are all the kind of things that people who are overweight get called, and it has not only put a stigma on them, but it has also affected their self-esteem greatly. Compulsive Overeating often isn’t recognized as an Eating Disorder like Anorexia and Bulimia are.

I have to admit, I used to be one of those people who, as a child all through early adulthood, had a stereotype when it came to people who were on the heavier side.  Growing up, I was sent the message not only by my own family, but also society that you were not “Overweight”, you were “Fat.” Fat people were the ones that got made fun of at Amusement Parks as they didn’t have trouble walking, but “waddled” to and from ride to ride as my family would say. If my mother saw a “skinny” person eating a funnel cake she didn’t say a word, but if a fat person was eating one, well they were just disgusting. I began to associate fat with something that was wrong. If you were fat, you were not a Ballerina, an Actress, a Doctor, or even a Lawyer. No you were just somebody who sat around all day and ate Ding Dongs while all the “Skinny” people went on to lead successful lives.

People who are overweight are looked upon as Gluttons, and hey wasn’t that one of the seven deadly sins?

I remember watching one of those nightly news shows once. They did an undercover story on the way “Fat” people vs “Skinny” people are treated. For instance an overweight blonde woman pretended to be stranded in the middle of a busy intersection, and it took a very long time before somebody stopped to help. When they put a skinnier blonde in the middle, it took hardly a heartbeat before she was surrounded by bystanders. Another scenario was an overweight woman went in for a job interview with excellent credentials and was overlooked for a thinner version of herself with hardly any. Last case I remember about the show was they asked a bunch of young school children to look at pictures of two people who they could pick as their next school teacher and nearly all of them picked the thinner woman of the two.

Binge eaters are often viewed as lazy and unable to control their appetite by society when in all reality they are using food the exact same way an Anorexic and Bulimic does, except in a different form. They are trying to numb whatever hurt is going on, whatever trauma they have experienced, whatever loneliness or anger that is stuffed deep under the surface. It’s simply the same root, but branches out in a different form. It’s sad, because a lot of people who are overweight don’t seek treatment primarily for that reason.

This is why gastric bypass surgery is unsuccessful and often fails. You see if it were simply a matter of stopping eating once they lose the weight due to tiny portions, it shouldn’t be an issue. Ha…do you know how many people I have heard about and met whose stomach staple has broken because they ate past the point of hunger. They aren’t eating because they are overly hungry. They are eating because this is the only way they know how to deal with all the emotional issues they have going on inside. Over eaters are also at as much health risk as Anorexics and Bulimics, due to diabetes, heart attack, high blood pressure, blood clots, the list goes on.

This common theme that “thin is in” is quite alarming and can also cause people who have suffered with obesity who try to lose weight to take it too far, thus plummeting them into the dangerous rabbit hole that is either Anorexia, Bulimia or both. I know that even myself although never obese became a little overweight in high school and that fear of being “fat” drove me to snowball into a very dangerous weight.

I personally feel that an eating disorder may just be the hardest thing to quit. Why? Well an alcoholic can quit drinking. A drug addict can quit drugs. A gambling addict can quit gambling. A person with an Eating Disorder can not quit eating. Yes we take one of the most necessary things involved in ones survival besides air and water, and abuse it. It’s vital for life, and we either take it away, throw it all up, exercise it off, or eat it until there is no more left.

I know so many people who are suffering with compulsive overeating and they have confided in me so many times how scary it is to come into treatment because they feel like they will feel ostracized or not given as much attention as people who are thinner then them. I know they quickly find when they come to Rader that we treat everybody the same and that they are treated with just as much compassion as everybody else. We make sure they are treated with the same dignity and respect. It’s also amazing for me to see a lot of our Anorexics and Bulimics create a brand new understanding for our Overweight clients once they get to know them. They realize just like I came to that they walk side by side with them in this disease.

If you are battling with binge eating know that there is help and that just as I came to realize there is hope at the end of this tunnel. Through treatment, meetings, support, and yes lots of love, you will realize that you can live a happy and healthy life and that “Fat” is not a four letter word.

R.E.M. – Everybody Hurts (Video)

Eating Disorders Treatment brought to you by RaderPrograms.com

THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO BOSTON

I was talking to several people the other day in the wake of the Boston Marathon bombing. None of them had eating disorders but were expressing the horrible feeling they got when they heard the news. How they were just sick to their stomach and just couldn’t believe it. We thought how sad it was that our generation had experienced our fair share of tragedy like Oklahoma City, the Kindergarten shootings in Connecticut, and of course the most devastating 911. Tragedy is a terrible sense of uncertainty, confusion, and leaves us with a bitter taste in our mouths. It’s abrasive and can cause a lot of feelings to come up of our own mortality and our own safety in a Country that stands for life, liberty, and justice for all.

One of the most common feelings that people with eating disorders deal with is a feeling of not being safe. I know it caused many emotions to come for our patients at Rader as they deal with this on a daily basis.

I myself still deal with issues of craving that feeling of safety. A lot of women and men who deal with Anorexia, Bulimia, and Compulsive Overeating have been through trauma themselves. Things like the Boston Marathon shootings had many of them quite shaken up.

If you think about it part of the developmental process of growing up is feeling affection, and safety from our parents and home environment. Most of us were given helmets when we rode our bike, told to stay away from hot stoves, and were tucked in at night feeling like all was right with the world.

However, a lot of people growing up are not given that affection causing them to feel unsafe. I have met a lot of people whose Eating Disorders stemmed from this.

Eating Disorders can disguise themselves as being safe. In times of sadness, loneliness, boredom, or confusement, it can very easily beckon you back. It’s a coping mechanism that looks all nice on the outside but will end up leaving you in a very empty place. It is really important for people in recovery to be in a safe environment, and through treatment can learn to work through that process.It doesn’t happen overnight but it is possible.

It is  that we can’t control what happens in this world, but alot of us are lucky to live in a Country that refuses to negotiate with any act of terrorism and that it is run by good, strong, powerful leaders who make it their mission to protect us.

I know I personally can not let other peoples rancid actions control my own life.

That all being said, I almost destroyed my life through my own hand and not by the hand of a vicious bomber like the people who lost their lives in Boston.We should all be grateful for our lives and rejoice that we have each day.

God Bless America God Bless you Boston.

Eating Disorders Treatment brought to you by RaderPrograms.com

I have never been a pretty crier. I am not one of those girls whose make-up stays in tact and afterwards nobody would possibly know. Nope I am an all out black mascara running down my face, swollen face, puffy eyed looking train wreck. Has that stopped me from crying my whole life?…Um No.

I suppose there is a little smile on my face now because ever since I came out of the womb I have been very sensitive with a large dose of drama.

My mother says I inherited the sensitive part from my father, and the dramatic side…well that’s still a coin toss? I was never told not to cry. I was never told that if I fell down to suck it up, or if my favorite pair of jelly shoes got chewed up by our dog to deal with it. I never ever cried to get attention I know that. I just know that if something sad or bad or emotional happened it has just always been my first coping mechanism. I think creative people are overly sensitive, and yes I am going to call myself creative because what I lack in mathematics, science, or logic, I make up for with my whim, wit, and wonder. We are high over achievers and we feel like we are constantly scared of losing our pixie dust.

That all being said I found that there was a time when I was going through my eating disorder that I couldn’t find tears. It was like I had bottled them all up and sealed them in a big jar. My first time in treatment I was surrounded by women who did nothing but cry. I just stared at them like they had three heads. It wasn’t that I didn’t open up about my stuff, but it was if I had put a guard up. I felt emotionally numb. Throughout the many many years I suffered with my eating disorder I had a hard time getting in touch with all the pain that was going on inside of me. I have met a lot of men and women who experienced the same thing. They just can’t cry. For whatever reason they when they first enter treatment have a hard time attaching feelings to emotion. I call this frozen feelings, and once that defrost button gets pushed…well watch out.

Once I finally could cry is when I truly started to heal. I realized I had all this bottled up anger, sadness, guilt, loneliness and despair inside of me that needed to come out. I was finally able to not only cry, but also be honest with myself about how messed up I was on the inside.

There is nothing wrong with shedding tears. As a matter of fact crying is a huge part of the recovery process in general. It can be very therapeutic to cry. That’s the great thing about treatment, because you can cry, get downright hysterical if you want to because you are surrounded by people who don’t look at you like you are weak or a basket case. They understand what you are going through and chances are will be crying right a long side of you.

I also remember crying happy tears while I was in treatment, because it just felt so darn wonderful to be healing myself. It felt awesome and amazing to wake up each morning and not be saturated by disease. It moved my heart to see others heal as well and to hear their own triumphs in overcoming adversity.

Today I still get the same way as I am surrounded on a daily basis of patients just starting their process, others knee deep in it, and those who are walking out the front doors to start their new life. Yes I am surrounded by tears on a daily basis, and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

CRY ME A RIVER–JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE

Eating Disorders Treatment brought to you by RaderPrograms.com

One of the hardest parts of getting over an eating disorder is earning back people’s trust. Lets face it, this disease does nothing to gain any friends, but rather enemies. When you truly decide in your heart that you want to get better, it is truly a gift. So how do you earn that trust back? How do you get your parents or your boyfriend or your siblings or your friends to respect you after you have taken a match and burned down every bridge?

I dealt with this myself and believe me, it’s not an easy process. People truly believed nothing that came out of my mouth. They basically were mentally exhausted of dealing with all my shit. I am calling it what it was. I was queen of the BSers and I don’t think that I even cared at the time.

The thing is, that was not the real me. Before I got my ED I was a very sweet, witty, giving, funny person. I think that is what frustrated my close friends and family who had seen me grow up the most was that they wanted her back. Your eating disorder makes you extremely selfish. It doesn’t want to die and the more and more you feed into it, the bigger and stronger it becomes. You have to lie, cheat and steal in order for it to stay active. You can fool people once, maybe even twice, but after awhile it catches up with you and pretty soon you lose friends and family.

What’s really frustrating about recovery is that it doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process. When I say process I mean that starting it isn’t the hard part, it’s keeping it consistent. Even if you are doing what you are supposed to a lot of people will still doubt your actions and your words. I remember thinking, “what’s the point of doing well if everybody believed I wasn’t?”

I see this with a lot of the patients I work with. They can be doing everything right but because of doing everything wrong for so long they get doubted. I tell them they have to be patient and they have to give time. I came up with this equation and it goes TIME+EFFORT=TRUST.

In other words, if you give it your all and give it some time most people will come around. It’s also the proof in the pudding. If people see you actively changing and they see you are truly telling the truth, they will respond. What may be hard to swallow is that some may not. Just because you change doesn’t mean other people will. I have family members who have not forgiven me. The friends and family that only did so because when I went into treatment I worked my ass off. When I walked in the doors to Rader, I knew I was going to do it right.

I surprised  because not only did I have very successful treatment I got a job out of it. I was perhaps one of the hottest messes out there and I gained my whole life back with a bang. I surprised the socks off of everybody.

That’s why I know anybody can have success at fighting this disease. If I can do it anybody can. It has taken me a good 5 years to do it, but every step was worth it. I have amazing people in my life and all the damage I did has gradually been repaired. One of my favorite sayings is from Dr. Seuss. It goes:

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

Do the right thing and those who matter will eventually trust you again.  You have to make a decision. What means the most to you? Kick it to the curb or continue suffering. The choice is up to you.

Eating Disorders Treatment brought to you by RaderPrograms.com

Everybody laughed and then went on to another subject, but all I wanted to do was run home and cry. Besides  my friend none of those other people even knew I had struggled with an eating disorder. Yet all these feelings I experienced my whole life of shame and guilt around the act of putting food in my mouth began to surface. I was actually surprised how strong they were. It probably didn’t help that I had had a very bad day at work and was very stressed. And I learned a long time ago my feelings around food and my emotions make a good couple. I felt like I should have a giant Scarlet P around my neck that stood for Pig. I felt like I had done something wrong and was embarrassed that so many people were aware that I was indeed digesting something besides diet soda.  I knew in my heart and my head that I had come way too far in my life to let something like this effect me, but also realized that I still carry a lot of those feelings still inside of me.

Fast forward to that night where another friend was celebrating her birthday at a popular restaurant in town. I was there with my boyfriend and that same friend the one who made the comment walked up to him and said “Oh my god you should see how much food this girl can eat…I had to tell her to put the fork down.” Well, first of all, I know in my heart she was just being funny, and meant no harm. I knew I hadn’t overeaten and that I am only human after all. My goodness, it’s my god given right to nourish my body. However, I again wanted to run out the door and sob, feeling as though I had committed some terrible sin. Not to mention ashamed that my boyfriend might think I was a glutton or something. After that I just looked at my dinner and it was all I could do to eat it. I seriously had to just suck up every ounce of fight I had in me, because my Eating Disorder was trying to go to war.

I know my boyfriend has seen me eat countless of times, and the thing is I do eat.  I wouldn’t be who I am, or couldn’t do what I do if I didn’t. As a matter of fact I don’t know how I ever did not eat because when I don’t I turn into the Wicked Witch of the West.  I guess it just boils down to that I still in the back of my mind feel self-conscience about putting food in my mouth and other people seeing it. I didn’t really pay attention to it until the other day and it had me do some very serious self-examination and exploration to see why I feel that way. Well it didn’t take me long to figure out it a lot of it stems from childhood…God, what doesn’t with me right?

From a very young age my food was controlled by the hand of my mother and I secretly hated it. She fed me according to her own hunger not mine. As I grew older I quickly realized she wasn’t feeding my digestive system she was feeding a number on the scale. This made me start to sneak food behind her back. As a child it was more for hunger issues, as a teenager it was hunger tied in with emotional comfort. I remember waiting for her fall asleep and I would sneak into the kitchen and steal the toaster and bread or whatever else I could find. I would take it back into my room and eat it in the dark. I would also go to the store and secretly buy candy, cookies, donuts, potato chips, all the food I was NOT allowed to have. I would hide it in my room and then go in my closet and secretly eat it in the dark.

When I started my eating disorder I remember the more I started not eating the more guilty I felt when people actually saw me eat anything. Perhaps it also had to do with that they always made such a big deal of it like my friend. They acted like they had just seen a Unicorn run by, or the Baby Jesus buzz by on a motorcycle. I began being petrified to go out to eat because I felt like everybody was watching me. If I did consume anything it was by myself and if somebody walked in the kitchen I would turn my back to them. This also explains so much about my bingeing and purging. Bulimia is a disease that marinates in guilt and shame. My binges were always at night and in the dark. I felt safe because the world was asleep, and light couldn’t expose all the craziness that had become my life.

It’s interesting because now that I look back at all those old issues, I can totally see why I still feel that way when it comes to food. I couldn’t help at laugh because it made me think how when I am in the staff lounge at work all my Co-workers are always coming in and turning the lights on laughing at me for being in the dark. Finally somebody asked me..”Melissa everytime I come in here you are always in the dark, why is that silly girl?”  I laughed and told her it was because my Grandfather was always turning off the lights when I grew up telling us to save energy. However now that I think about it, that has nothing to do with it. I am in the dark because I still have those thoughts about being seen. I mean don’t get me long I eat in front of people all the time, but sometimes I unconsciously don’t want any attention to be put on it.

I am very thankful that I am at a place in my life that other peoples comments like my friends don’t throw me into a tizzy and cause me to resort back to my old behaviors. I would be a total flutternugget if I did, after all I have put my body not to mention my mind through.  Rader Programs saved my life and it introduced me to some normal eating habits. I was taught to eat in the light and in the open around other people., and that “By George!!”  it’s an OK thing to do. Wow…who woulda thunk? As a matter of fact if it were not for that, I wouldn’t be able to live such a productive life. I am constantly being invited to social events, dinners, lunches, birthday parties, and yes date nights. If I was still afraid to eat in the light of day, I wouldn’t be able to ever have a life. Try going over to your boyfriends house to meet his Mother for the first time, and telling her that you can’t, or won’t  eat the dinner she just cooked..ya not gonna fly.  I actually see food as an accessory to the main event these days. I enjoy the company of who I am with rather than what I am putting in my mouth.

However, that being said,  I am really glad my friend made that comment to me, as I know that this is part of life. The whole world cannot walk on eggshells around me because I used to have an Eating Disorder. I am not going to get all triggered because I believe everyday is a trigger. What I do have to do is realize that I should not have to feel guilty about eating, nor should anyone else. It’s something that makes life enjoyable and I guess I would be a lot more ashamed and embarrassed if I was still actively participating in my eating disorder behavior. So after all of that self realization I am proud of myself for being able to pick up a fork and put it in my mouth. Especially when the lights are on. Progress not perfection I say…THE END!!

I’m Only Human- The Parlotones
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dyf1R4GAK1g

Eating Disorders Treatment brought to you by RaderPrograms.com

Kristie Clements discusses several sordid details about her tenure as Editor. She claims that one model told her that her roommate (a fitness model) is “in the hospital on a drip a lot of the time.” Clements also states that during one three-day shoot, she didn’t see the top model eat a single meal.

Models put pressure on themselves to appear unhealthily skinny, but the industry reinforces this behavior. Clements recounts in her book that when an Australian model would starve herself down two sizes for an overseas show, she would be lauded by the Vogue fashion office as “Paris thin.”

This is an industry-wide problem. Designers create sample sizes that are unhealthily small, magazines hire models that are clearly below a healthy BMI and other media outlets chide models that look as though they might actually eat food—instead of Kleenex—as being fat, such as [voluptuous swimsuit model] Kate Upton.

Eating disorders are clearly rampant in the fashion world. Instead of encouraging eating disorder behavior, the media should help these struggling individuals get the help they need. Whoever has the idea that being dangerously underweight should be the standard of beauty should realize the lengths that these young women are going to in order to conform to those unrealistic standards.

Fashion publications have a responsibility to stop hiring models that appear underweight or are struggling with an eating disorder in order to work in the industry. It should not be an acceptable practice for models to eat Kleenex or skip every meal on a three-day shoot.

Eating Disorders Treatment brought to you by RaderPrograms.com

If I asked you how many times you saw an advertisement today, what would you say? You probably would lose track by the time you poured your morning cup of coffee. In all reality the average adult is exposed on average to 250-1000 advertisements per day. For children and teenagers it could be considerably more.
 
 It starts with you driving down the freeway and eyeing a giant billboard reminding you to Keep up with those Kardashians, flipping through the latest People magazine in the Doctors office, pouring a bowl of Special K, or stalking your ex boyfriend or girlfriend from highschool on facebook. Wow!!! alright I even without realizing it just exposed you to four brands. 
 

It’s amazing how many social preservatives and additives we are exposed to on a daily basis. We wake up Organic and go to bed Artificial. Unless you live under a rock it’s pretty hard to dodge the bullet that persuades our images and drains our wallets.
Think about it. Lets say you browse the web for 2 hours. That’s 120 minutes of web surfing. You probably spend about 1 minute per page and visit about 120 pages. You see on average about 2 ads per page which would be a total of 240 ads in a 2 hour period. You then go and watch an hour of TV where 22 minutes will be dedicated to advertisements. In a given minute you generally get about 1-2 commercials. That will result in you seeing 44 commercials. If you watched 5 hours of TV that would give you 220 commercials. If you combine the time you spend on the Internet and the time you spend watching the tube it adds up to about 460 ads. That is not including what you read in the newspaper, magazines, billboards, on the back of your cereal box, on the sides of buses, or a T-shirt your neighbor wears to mow his lawn.

 
I know from experience that a huge majority of those ads are targeted towards women and how they look. The models that are selling us everything from body wash to cologne don’t exactly look like the lady who does your dry cleaning. Not to mention those models and actresses selling you that stuff half spend half of the day getting their hair and make-up done before a shoot, and then the other half of the day is dedicated to airbrushing and photo-shopping them to look perfect. It it any wonder that other average woman has 13 negative body thoughts a day. That’s nearly one for every waking hour. That’s just the short end of the stick…a very disturbing amount of women have fessed up to having 35, 50, or even 100 hateful thoughts about their bodies.
 
All this advertising we see everyday cannot be helping, as a matter of fact it is just kindling the fire. Advertising has gotten very sneaky too and it scares me to think that one key word I type into facebook or google opens up a portal into my brain. The minute I type in the word shoe, I get a gazillion shoe ads popping up on the side of my page or in my browser. Marketing almost knows us better than we know ourselves these days. It also doesn’t help that we have been a society obsessed with keeping up with the Joneses.
 
It seems like we have to constantly upgrade whether that be the newest IPhone or the newest pair of Jimmy Choos. I just recently realized how much media laced junk food my brain is exposed to daily, hence what inspired this blog. It’s a proven fact that when a woman sees a model of any kind her own self esteem sky dives. I have to on a constant basis put up a shield when I see a new Victoria Secret magazine, or see the half-time show at a Lakers game. It sometimes feels like self doubt just comes up and slaps you in the friggin face and you literally have to just turn the other cheek and remember what really is important to you at the end of the day.
 
I know it’s hard to block all this stuff out, and in all honestly you can’t. However you can choose which ones you choose to really pay attention to. Is it an ad encouraging you to get a breast exam…good, or is at an ad persuading you to get your tummy tucked…not so much. Is it an ad promoting health and wellness for yourself or your family…important, or is it the latest commercial for you to buy a bottle of pills to make you skinny in five minutes…cray cray!!
 
OK..bottom line is STOP taking orders from a giant billboard. STOP letting a magazine cover dictate your day. STOP letting a Supermodel define how you are going to feel about your body. Instead listen to your inner voice and thet your actions speak louder than your words, wear your courage on your head like a crown, and make what is truly important to you in life be the driving force of how you choose to spend your days. 

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