The Princess and the Eating Disorders: A Fairy Tale
Once upon a time there was a Princess, and unfortunately for this dame, things had taken a wrong turn somewhere in between “Once upon a time, and “Happily ever after”. The Prince got tired of her mood swings, her weight loss, and quite frankly he was a little over her sticking her head down the royal Loo. She was almost put in the dungeon after stealing all of the queens silver to go on a Ben and Jerry’s spree, and had nabbed an entire bottle of the King’s Xanax. She had exhausted the local pizza delivery knight with her nightly fixes of deep dish pepperoni. She had clogged all of the pipes in the palace, and when she wasn’t doing that she was running around the courtyard for 6 hours burning off what she was or was not digesting. Even the Court Jester, and the Village idiot where fed up with her. They all said…”Enough, let her have no more cake”!..and kicked her out on her little candy ass. She really had nowhere to go, and as she wandered around the grounds cursing and texting all of her friends what idiots she was related to, she secretly was ashamed, and scared at was to become of her. With a cigarette hanging out of her mouth,she stood on the corner and contemplated her life. The Town Dragon didn’t want to eat her, as he really didn’t have a taste for Nervosa. She was lost, and her hair was a muss, the little forest animals didn’t quite like the smell of a woman who hadn’t bathed in 2 weeks, so they choose not to frolic with her. Her satin gown had armpit stains, and what once was a head where a crown sat, was a head that was so confused, and hurt,angry, and sad.
She dug around in her satchel,and finally found the number to her fairy godmother and asked if she could crash at her crib. The fairy godmother rolling her eyes said no, because last time she stayed over she stole her magic wand and went Ape Crazy doing bottle service in Vegas.
The Princess was at a loss as what to do, as not too long ago she was a beautiful femme fatal, whose skin was clear, whose hair was lush, and whose teeth were white an sparkly.
Now all she had was a bad reputation, a mouth full of eroded gums, and a lot of acid reflux.
She had burned all the bridges to her castles, and all the genies in the bottle had cut her off from wishes.
All the village people were in awwe of how their once Royal Heineiss had turned into a Big Royal hot mess.
It doesn’t pick favorites, and she’s probably not the only princess in the Universe with a few Rehab centers under her glass slipper and a pocket full of solid gold 30 day chips.
Princess or Peasant, addiction doesn’t care.
The Princess pondered her fate, and instead of waiting for her knight in shining armour to sweep her away, she pulled her big girl princess panties up, and started to get her act together.
She didn’t go to Royal Rehab,unfortunately she had Anthem Blue Cross, So she was stuck going to a little residential center in the Valley. However it didn’t matter because with hard work and dedication, she managed to crawl out of the rabbit hole she had fallen down, and stopped going to mad tea parties.
Pain is a process… starting it is hard, going through it hurts like hell, but coming out of it feels like a freedom, courage, victory, and hope.
The King and Queen participated in family therapy and realized there had been some past dysfunction going on in the Palace. The Prince went through couples therapy and learned to understand that reason Beauty wasn’t sleeping was because she had a lot of anxiety and angst towards him.
She then became an advocate for her kingdom and started up a 12 step meeting at the Royal Starbucks on the corner.
The townspeople looked up to her as an inspiration and as a role leader for the younger generation, and the pressure put on them to be perfect little princesses.
She made amends to her Fairy Godmother who after much thought and a couple bibbity bobbity boo’s became her sponsor.
I would say this story has a Happily ever after…but there is no such thing as Happily ever after in Recovery…its ”Happily in the moment”…because that’s right before the “Happily what comes next.”